So Doctor. Samantha Hiew is amazing. So she is she runs diagnosed with ADHD at age 40 and founded ADHD Girls to find out what's happening as a collective. And being so many people being missed in the system, I talked in our introduction particularly around girls in schools. You know, we see twenty one percent only as a as as the ratio of boys to girls. It's wildly beneath the number that they should be. And there's huge systemic problems around the pickup of of girls in schools. I they just are. If you talk to, you know, loss of, you know, women being diagnosed later in life, missed in schools, it's just such a common story. So I'm a PhD in cancer research, master's and degrees in genetics, molecular bio biology, and biochemistry.

And she is presenting on what lies beneath the ADHD traits with a focus on emotional regulation to enable ADHDs to better understand their root causes. That's thirty minutes with fifty minutes for questions. Welcome, Doctor Samantha Hiew. Hello, Henry. Hi, everyone. How are you? Wonderful. Thank you. Can hear you loud and clear. It's wonderful to see you. Thank you very much for doing this and sharing your knowledge. Thank you for all your work you're doing in ADHD girls. It's a big deal. And it's an absolute yeah. It's it's absolutely wonderful. And I'm very excited about what you're going to talk about, and I need to just hand straight over to you. So I'm bringing your slides now and see you Thanks so much, Henry.

And I totally get it. You've been on since 01:00.

You probably don't wanna talk very very much anymore. So and for Although, I don't want you to think I'm leaving. Like, I'm just interested. Look. I'm here for the long haul. I've got twenty six hours. We're still in the first flush of use of this. Alright. Okay. Great. Till tomorrow.

Yeah. We're gonna continue this conversation. But thanks, everyone. And so, yeah, I'm gonna share my slides now. Can everyone see it? And can you give me, like, a thumbs up or something, you know, in the chat? Because technology always gets me. I've been known to be on LinkedIn live and the whole entire stream drops and I find myself.

Okay. Well, I'm in charge of the stream. You're okay. So they it's all up. They can see your slides. Everything's working. Any problems, I will jump on and go, we've got a problem. Thanks so much, Henry. Okay. Sit back now.

Thanks so much. So today, I'm gonna talk to you about what lies underneath our ADHD traits and mainly focusing on emotional regulation just because I find this is an aspect of our being that is so challenging for us, you know, despite starting medication, you know, learning all the tools in therapy, and, you know, just trying to show up as a better human being, you know, a more regulated human being. And yet sometimes we still, you know, revert back to automatic patents. So I looked into this and, you know, really try and understand, you know, what happened to us as collective. So a little bit about me, I am a social entrepreneur. I founded a company called ADHD Girls when I was diagnosed at the age of 40 with ADHD.

And has since self identified as being autistic, still don't fulfill the clinical threshold for diagnosis for autism. And I think, you know, part of the reason is that I come from a cross cultural background of having grown up in an Asian country and lived half of my life in The UK. So I'm a bit of a mystery to a lot of the health care professionals here because they don't know where to look. You know? But I know myself, and I self validate about being an ADHD. My career started in cancer research where I finished with a PhD and swiftly kind of fell out of love with academia because of how difficult it was to stay consistent with my undiagnosed ADHD throughout, you know, my career. And so after that, I explored.

Across 16 different industries to figure out where in the world of work I belong. So today, I do a lot of trainings in neurodiversity in the workplace. It's because I know what it's like to not belong and and also how a lot of society's work and education system isn't really fully accessible for our way of being and our way of thinking and learning and processing information. I'm also a mother of two neurodivergent children who is a very interesting experiment in itself because you get to see how neurodivergent start, you know, and manifest in children, you know, all the way throughout their childhood. So and and I also learned a lot as well in the process about how to, you know, be.

A more present parent for them, you know, in a way that perhaps I've never really received from my own parents. And so my journey since I was diagnosed has has really been focused on to become well rather than, you know, to figure out where my purpose or, you know, or etcetera. It was really to figure out how I can dismantle the conditioning that I have acquired and then rebuild, you know, to be an authentic person going forward in my journey. So and just a little bit about my history. So I had a bit of an existential crisis that lasted a whole decade before I was diagnosed. And in that time, I scanned really for belonging, but I constantly felt like I was walking against, you know, the stream of where everyone was going.

And so that led to challenges with my mental health. And in that time, I also, you know, explored across different careers in what turned out to be a squiggly career. And that which further led me to not fully believing in myself despite knowing that there was a time, you know, when I was so interested in science that that there was a place for me. But then it was what was difficult when I came into the world of work to find that one thing, you know, when I had so many interests in so many places. And so from not fitting in, when I got diagnosed with ADHD, I found other people like me, and I started talking to a lot of women with ADHD around the world, as well as experts that specialize in the field of ADHD to see, what our.

Common experiences are. You know? And I found that despite being united by a common condition called ADHD, the way we experience it, you know, was also different across different cultures, race, class, communities, and geographical locations. And I do a lot of work on that, and I have created a campaign called Utopia where I uncovered these hidden stories, you know, that are experienced for ADHDers from diverse backgrounds. It's called Utopia. It's a podcast on iTunes. And so the work that I do now is very much about retelling our human stories and bridging the empathy gap between the newer label, the newer not yet labeled. And I do this in the community.

Giving talks to public at large as well as to companies. To date, I've spoken to over 80 companies on neurodiversity. And so today, I'm going to talk to you about ADHD and emotional regulation. So I'm gonna start with taking you through what is ADHD. This is gonna be quite a condensed session because I like, full disclosure, I only prepared a slice today. It's a very typical last minute switch on. So I also want to touch on the diversity of our experiences. So, you know, you know, what is really behind the heterogeneity, you know, or the differences that you see in ADHD because you know that when you meet one person with ADHD, there's this one person. And the way it manifests for everyone is so different across different contexts.

You know, and it's situationally variable. What is the trigger behind emotional regulation? Because it always has a trigger with ADHD. And the traits, what you can see on the surface and what lies underneath that, you know, and is actually involved underneath that, you know, in our internal world that causes this state of flux where it changes every moment and every day and every week or every few weeks within the month for women, and how we can maybe build some emotional resilience with in in in ADHD and the road forward. So let's get stuck in. So what is ADHD? Our understanding has evolved. Okay? It used to be known as an hyperactivity, an impulsivity. It's basically how you would describe a naughty child in school.

But then, you know, women got diagnosed, adults got diagnosed, you know, and now people everywhere around the world is wondering, what is our experience? Why don't we all present the same way? But then there are some very similar pillars that we all experience around executive functioning or emotional dysregulation. Although whether or not you see it depends on the context you live in, you know, whether it's the presence of more support in your system, where you live in a culture of interdependence, or, you know, that your contacts, you know, just works for you or not. You know? And it is a lifelong experience that can look different across different ages and stages. So the diversity of our experiences, you know, is because.

It is a sum of nature versus nurture. Whether genes you inherit from your parents, you know, together with whether your ADHD manifest as co occurring conditions. You know, autism, I think the co occurrence is up to eighty or ninety percent, you know, for ADHD and autism. And ADHD can also co occur with dyspraxia quite often, dyslexia, and other mental health challenges. Okay? So if in a moment you were born, the genes you inherit, whether you're a girl or a boy, whether you live in a culture where your families were well supported and you had nurture from your parents. And if you are born a certain social class and if you used education as a ticket to your social mobility And if you encounter mental health challenges.

And if you cross cultures become my when when you migrate it across the world, and if you're also a parent to another child with special needs, and, you know, to other life stages in life. You know, how ADHD manifests really looks different across different stages. And so because we have lived with a neurodivergence that, I guess, we have been missed. You know, if you've been late diagnosed in life, you have been missed. That has a cost, and that cost shows up as mental health challenges in our lives. And and that is from our experiences and our life in motion and a combination of how our body affects our mind and our feelings, you know, to impact how we show up. So as our focus is on emotional regulation, I wanted to bring you back.

To what are the typical characteristics of ADHD. Over the last decade, researchers have been trying to redefine what ADHD means, and they have come up with six different characteristics. You know? And the ones that we want to focus on today is emotional dysregulation, behavioral self regulation, executive functioning. Okay? Because they are related. And emotional dysregulation always has a trigger with ADHD, whether this is something, someone, someplace, some sensory inputs or memories that trigger, you know, the way we act, whether we go into fight or flight or freeze or fib or fun. You know, these are all the stress response, you know, that is governed by our nervous system. And so the ADHD way of being is very much heavily strong.

From the position of the inputs that you get from your environment where you're receiving, you know, cues from your environment, what you see, what you feel, what you hear, and what you taste, that is a stronger input in your system than your top down, you know, signal where you have your goal directed thinking. So as a result, we kinda navigate the world through what we feel first before we know what to think about it. And so sometimes when a trigger, you know, or a stimuli happens in your environment where someone says something or a place reminds you of something that's happened or a sensory cue, whether it's a smell or.

You know, a a song or or something that reminds you of something, it's kinda trigger back the memory, and it might give you an automatic response. And so some of the traits that you do see in our emotional lives on the very surface of it, because really behavior that you can see on the surface is a form of communication or what lies underneath. And so some of the common challenges in around the emotional regulation bit of ADHD is that we might show up with anxiety. And sometimes when we are so happy and excited, we might look over the top. We might have trouble regulating that too. You know, it's not just the the strong negative emotion. It's also the positive emotions can be also overboard. We can be easily frustrated, you know.

Might have anger outbursts, might look like crying, depression, and hard to soothe or calm down from that trigger. We may look inconsiderate, you know, when people think that we might not be thinking about what they're feeling because you're so wrapped up in your own thing. And also when we're in that place where we cannot think clearly and we're all, like, feeling and all red, you know, we might be focusing more on the negatives. And for women as well, you know, we may have different moods and emotional states at different times of the month. And for many who have been missed and perhaps, you know, have gone to health care professionals wondering what is going on, you know, they might get misdiagnosed with a mood disorder.

And, you know, all these labels and the personality disorder, you know, that that people get slept with. If only we can look at what lies underneath and really see the challenges as what they are rather than a label that, you know, stigmatizes and actually closes the door on someone to to try and understand themselves. You know? Because actually, there are so many things that could, you know, potentially lead us to, you know, be dysregulated. And whether that is a state of being in chronic stress or overwhelmed because you might naturally have that low threshold to stress and it doesn't take you very much, you know, to flip. Or maybe you have some stress in your relationship or perceived rejection, an RSD that can.

You know, make you act out of proportion to what, you know, the stimuli actually is. Or maybe you have an unhealthy lifestyle that is causing you to show up with less energy than than you need, you know, to tap into your brain, you know, to kind of to to to work on a conflict, you know, that is in front of you. They might be an underlying learned helplessness, which is often used to characterize depression where you feel powerless and helpless in a face of a traumatic event, or PTSD, intrusive thoughts, you know, maybe the communication difference. And sometimes you can also process things at a different rate to people who, you know, may trigger that are that that emotional dysregulation. And as a result, you can't.

Really tell them in the moment what you you you you you would be able to think, you know, if you had more time to calm down and and think rationally. So there is also potentially a challenge, you know, with your biology where some of us might have rather than a low level of dopamine, we might have a high level of dopamine and norepinephrine because of the lifestyle that we lead and also the ADHD medication that we take can sometimes not be the right one for us, you know, might give us more neurotransmitters that we need, you know, at at certain times, you know, especially for women who.

You know, estrogen itself is the master regulator of women's brain health. So estrogen can impact dopamine levels too. So when estrogen goes up, dopamine also goes up. And in the body of a woman who is going through a hormonal transition, whether this is in pregnancy, childbirth, or perimenopause, this can potentially, you know, cause some, you know, really large spikes in the highs and lows of hormones that you are unaware of. So when you take ADHD medication at this time, then your levels of neurotransmitters might shoot up or dive at different times. So a very big part of this journey, you know, moving forward with your diagnosis is to understand if you can tune into yourself and understand what is going on with you. But often.

So many of us are so busy with our lives. We are juggling so much because that is the you know, this is very on brand, isn't it? Being overwhelmed by demands with ADHD that that that you feel like, you know, even when you're bored, you you you look for something to stimulate you. And then when you're stimulated, you get overstimulated, and the rest is history. So I love what Joe Joseph talking about today when he started the session about creating that space between stimuli and response. And you can do that by learning all these tools, you know, to bring in a state of calm, you know. And and and I found that really helpful in my own journey as well. And so to sum it up, you know, the layers underneath.

What behaviors you see on a surface could be the conflict or increased demands in your life with very little support. Maybe you are burnout or maybe you feel like you're being misunderstood, and that is naturally creating a stress response, you know, out of you. Maybe your social conditioning has created, a certain default reaction to stress because your ADHD might lead you more sensitive to stress, but it doesn't tell you how to react. And how do you react? Do you do a meltdown or do you go into a shutdown? You know, that can look like rage where you, you know, having an anger outburst, or you might be retreating and, you know, detaching. And so.

Apart from that also, that's the emotional needs that your sensory needs that are not being met. You know, maybe you're in an environment where there's too much sound or, you know, too much touch, and that's the case for parents of young children. You know, despite your best efforts, you couldn't help yourself when you get overstimulated by your young children, you know, who also have challenges around neurodivergence that, you know, that so there there needs to be some sort of awareness of what you're going into and, you know, sort of how how to help yourself as a result. And also, maybe our physical needs are not being met, you know, because we may not be mindful of what we need to show up in our optimal state every day. Because.

Especially now, I find with so many of us starting medication, we can kind of almost shift our energy towards more in the brain rather than, you know, in our body. And so we are more kind of focused on what we give mentally rather than what we need within because your brain is very energy needy. It needs a lot of energy to power up. And when you've been sat there all day, you know, focused on something and you're not realizing that that task in itself, you know, takes so much out of you. And so when you don't have the energy, that can very easily lead to you feeling dysregulated, you know, if you're encountering a trigger. And I say the root of this all, really, because all trauma is relational.

And it starts from a place of attachment injury. So the way you show up may have a traumatic imprint. And then underlying that is our neurobiology, the way our brain, you know, is is structured and our neurotransmitter balance that I talked about before. And it's very important for you to understand what your ADHD look like because the medication that you take, you know, it might work for some people, but it might not work for others. It's and I'll talk about this a bit more afterwards. And I wanted to give an example of one of the biggest challenges that we all face as ADHDers, rejection sensitivity dysphoria, what this can look like, and the aftermath. You know, what happens when it leaves a scene of devastation. So RSD.

Could come from perceived social rejection or perceived psychological rejection, whether it's someone teasing you or when you're being criticized even when it's supposed to be constructive. So when you get feedback at work, no one likes feedback. And ADHD has feel this more because we're more sensitive to it. And also there might be already, like, a negative self talk or inner critic that can add to that story leading to us to externalize. When you externalize RSD, it can look like rage, and you may with withdrawal socially, and that cause relationship problems, as you can imagine. Or it can be internalized, And when your your RRC becomes internalized, it's negative self talk, then people may struggle with major depression.

Suicidal ideation, and negative self talk. So it's really important that we know what we're dealing with so we can reframe it in our heads. And so really just what is going on underneath this state when we are feeling dysregulated? You know, on the very surface, yes, you know, there might be conflict. There might be under misunderstanding or burnout, or maybe there are really issues, you know, that surface. Maybe inside you, there's so many parts that are at war. Okay? The the parts the psychiatrist the the psychologist who came up with that internal family system, Dick Schwartz, has called those parts rather than, you know, in psychiatry, some people like to call it the ego or the voice or the subpersonality.

But, really, these are parts within us. I think we all have them. I've not been in another person's body, but then I'm pretty sure that no one's one dimensional. You know, I'm pretty sure that we all have messages that we got from different parts of our lives, you know, and and I don't think we are unique in that. But that, you know, we are expected to be one dimensional when we appear in society and be this very reliable, predictable person that gives people what they need from us. And I think that that was the challenge, you know, because our the way that we had to be to fit that mold, you know, had caused a problem within us.

And also inside us, these parts are at war and they are also shifting and changing, you know, depending on what environment we encounter. And maybe you have sensory overwhelm because anything that comes in through your sensory input is also linked to your emotions. And so because of that, then, you know, what we thought as a problem that we had with somebody was actually just, you know, a sensory overwhelm that we mistook as, you know, an emotional trauma. But really, is sensory overload. And stress, stress can do that. Stress, chronic stress or acute stress. So if you're in prolonged burnout, then you're more susceptible to feeling emotionally dysregulated. Or if you're in acute stress, And sometimes.

When we have hormonal changes that are going on, that is also going to cause challenges with managing our states. Maybe there is a traumatic imprint, as I mentioned before. There is a relational injury that started a long time ago. But underneath all that, your ADHD is different from another person because of the genes that you inherit, and that then gets expressed as what your biology looks like, you know, what the metabolites that are happening that that are being expressed inside you. Talk about some of them. I think she does genetic profiling, but this can be done, you know, with any any providers. And the genetic your genetic profile will show you some of the usual suspects that underlie the ADHD experience.

And it's really interesting because I've dove into a few a few variation of ADHD types. And I find that the ADHD experience is so different to the ADHD experience because as an ADHDer, and you would notice if you are when you have both autistic and ADHD traits, when you actually at certain times, you know, off the day, you are you are able to tap into your your executive functioning. You know, and this is a mystery to a lot of us who are diagnosed later in life because at some point in your life, you were able to do some of the things. You know, your executive functioning wasn't as bad as it is now. But then something happened, whether it's age or, you know, some something else in your life changed.

And now you feel like you no longer have the same abilities. Right? And this is because of you know, for example, for women, then when you enter perimenopause, your estrogen levels will go down, and estrogen would have been what propped you up, you know, for a really long time, for decades. Because estrogen has an indirect effect on dopamine, acetylcholine, and serotonin. And so when you encounter perimenopause, your estrogen levels will go down. Your progesterone levels also start to go down, which leads to you feeling less calm than than you were before. And so when you then start ADHD medication at at this state in your life, then you are potentially yeah. You're you're you're potentially correcting the deficiencies.

You know, from that lower level of estrogen and not exactly, you know, what you truly need as an old ADHDer. And maybe part of this journey is to work out how to manage, you know, the different states and adjust the strategies to suit. And I have to stress how important it is, you know, because I mentor so many women with ADHD who then come to me and say, why do I feel so intense at different times of the month? So I dove into their stories and found out that they've been on the same ADHD medication, and in certain times of the month, they felt that they needed more. And then when they start on that higher dose, then it becomes too much when they're also in that state going towards ovulation where estrogen is already higher. So that adds.

You know, to the level of dopamine that they are facing. And why this is important? Because our medication doesn't even just have dopamine. Right? A lot of the medication caters for the levels of norepinephrine as well. So what norepinephrine does is that it gives you the state of flight mobilization, you know, your sympathetic nervous system. It makes you wanna, like, go, do the things, and, you know, have to rush and have the motivation. But too much of that, guess what happens? Too much of that, and we might have challenges with sleep because we're trying to go to sleep at night, and our body think that we don't need to sleep because we are we we are, you know, we are cool. So.

I'm just wondering if my computer switched to the the the Bluetooth. You can still hear me. Right? You're still there. Right? Okay. Great. So what do you do then? So what you should do is to look at your current life. What is going on? You know? Your life stage. Don't look at anyone else because you're gonna be different to, you know, other people in terms of what demands you have in your daily life. Are you a working parent with both the juggle of work and the juggle of chug here and getting everyone out the door? Or, you know, are you free and easy, which is a better way for you to manage your your stress levels. What are the stresses in your life? This could be physical stress, could be social stress, could be relationship stress.

Okay? And what are the joys? You know, what are the things that protect you in your environment? You know, are you spending time with self care or, you know, are you not having the time to do that? And what support system do you have? What are the quality of a significant relationship around you? Because that will determine, you know, whether an environment is stressful in itself. How how are you communicating? You know? And the gender differences that I mentioned around hormones, and this is quite significant because we're literally an entirely different human being, and you add the sex hormones into it. So to build emotional resilience, it's very much about widening your window of tolerance. And this is gonna be different.

Depending on the state of your emotional trigger. If you are feeling a mild emotional reaction, whether that's, you know, someone saying something and then, you know, you don't really like it, but it doesn't cost you to, like, fully flip out, then, yeah, tap into mindfulness strategies. Breathe. Breath works really good. Right? I heard. And meditation, great. But what if you have complete, batshit crazy, intense experience? Then you're going to need stronger tools, more immediate tools for distress tolerance. And from my research, it looks as if people who coach neurodivergent on relationships, they advise, actually, one of the first skill that couples should learn is is this stress tolerance.

It's a tool that you can tap into that they also use in dialectical behavioral therapy where you are dealing with very intense emotions in the moment. And this can look like diving your face in cold water and biting into cold flavored ice shards, you know, or I don't know what else. What what do people do when they need to calm down from intense moods? I've done a lot in my time and probably not safe to use here or to reveal. And so there's a short term strategies. Right? Some of longer term strategies is to understand, you know, what your patterns of behavior is. You know, and I just very loosely created this just now is to figure out how to tap into a state of equanimity where you can feel calm and measured in your response. And.

There might be some longer term work here in terms of finding out what your traumatic imprints were that caused you to show up in the same patterns of behavior every time. You know? And understand what kind of support you need because, really, we we we shouldn't really have to do this alone. And in terms of understanding what our energy needs are, you need to be aware of what you need to show up in an optimal state. And if it's to exercise in the morning and have healthy diet, you know, to ensure that we can show up in a state that at least we know that we have a level of control, You know? Because the problem with our emotional dysregulation is that it can happen in a way that makes us feel like we're not at the center seat of our lives.

And to get our autonomy back, we need to be aware of our state of being. This requires you to understand what your ADHD looks like for you to tune into your internal states and what is too much and what is not enough, you know, inside you. And and so the balance is well is ultimately about balance because the way ADHD manifests in all of us is so different. But, really, they have done genetic studies on ADHD, and it's shown us that it's not one or two or three genes that are responsible. As a result of that, a lot of people have kind of rubbish ADHD as a genetic link, but then they have found around 76 genes and counting. And I know ADHD is a polygenic, you know, where multiple genes come together to exert effect on how.

It shows up. Right? But then there are some common suspects, and it will tell you if you know what your gene profiles are. It will tell you how you metabolize the neurotransmitters, like dopamine, norepinephrine, and even estrogen, because it is not so much about increasing our levels of dopamine and norepinephrine through medication, which is the standard, like, a way of treating anyone with ADHD. It is more to do also with some of us. It is more about making sure that level is balanced. It is also getting rid of those neurotransmitters. You know? And and that is the function of metabolite called. And if you work in functional medicine, then you'll know what I talk I'm I'm talking about because this gene mutation is responsible.

For different types of ADHD. You know? And it will also determine what kind of treatment is more suitable for you going forward. But without knowing this, you might be adding, you know, treatment that you may not need. And so it's it's really important that we are aware of what we're dealing with. And also the balance of hormones and metabolites in our body as well. I think Lucinda mentioned some of the inflammatory markers that can also affect our moods. In the face of psychological stress, those inflammatory some of those inflammatory markers also increases. They can have neurotoxic effect. You know? And some of our behaviors are actually biologically determined.

But we can do so much to understand it and, you know, then help your help help ourselves, you know, instead of being confused about what's going on. Because that's that's been me for most of my life. I don't know about you. So to move forward, ADHD and emotional regulation, to sum it up, really, is to honor your needs, whether it is physical, emotional needs, or your sensory needs, or your social needs, and to learn to regulate, tap into those short term strategies, you know, tap tap into those tools to allow yourself to calm down, or maybe co regulate, you know, to do it alone. Be great if you have people to do it with, you know, because it's so lovely to co regulate with each other, whether it's a parent or a partner or a friend.

You know, because sometimes you can borrow people's regulation if you don't have it yourself, or maybe sometimes you prefer to be alone. It's very personal. Personal choice, personal strategies. So one of the way forward also for relation or repair is to learn to communicate your needs. And this could be in the workplace, in your home, in your life, in your friendships. Learn to communicate that in a way that, you know, isn't from a defensive place or a hurt hurt place. You know, you could communicate that so we can all facilitate repair in the long run. Second to last is to reframe the stories that you tell yourself. Because how many times have we, you know, been through an episode where the.

Tidal wave or tsunami has hit, and we feel completely blindsided by the stimulus, and it's happened. We have lost our shit. And then we deal with the shame afterwards. And we tell ourselves the stories that, you know, we are not good enough for, we're not worthy. But then it isn't true because what you're dealing with is so much more than, you know, those stories, you know. It's also your biology and and the people you interact with and the things you come across. But knowing what you're dealing with is the first step to understanding yourself, being aware, and then you know what to do when you go into different situations. In the long term, though, and I mentioned it a lot today, and I think one of the most useful tool for me.

In my journey is to understand what my ADHD look like and how it's different from other people. You know? And and just to share with you, I started my journey with ADHD, actually resisting medication, and then realizing that eight months on that I do need it. But then after I started medication, it had I I had side side effects from it that I, you know, had been trying to do various things in the past two two to three years. And and then then that includes lowering my medication, taking that off, you know, and replacing with other things, and then, like, you know, kinda playing a yo yo with my with myself just to experiment, you know, what that looks like. And I'm currently on a lower dose, the lowest dose that I can imagine because.

I realized that my ADHD doesn't actually need so so much help with the neurotransmitters. It's more about balance and detox. So so for me, it's a very different focus than than it than it would be for you, and we're all different. And ultimately, really, because all our reactions when it's touch a nerve or a wound, it has a place, you know, from a long time ago, and it wasn't a wound you got today. We need the way forward for you long term is to heal the wounds of your soul. So thank you so much for listening. This is me. I am running another workshop called activate your life next week, and that will dive deeper into what I meant by personalized ADHD and neurodivergence.

I'll set them some tools here where I help women navigate the way forward with ADHD after the diagnosis. I also give a lot of talks to organizations, so feel free to recommend me. Thank you.

Something that was amazing. So Yes. So interesting. Do.

You have time for a little a few questions? Oh, yeah. Of course. Oh my gosh. I've I've done forty five minutes. Didn't even realize. Yes.

We have a new like, I've been talking to people about timing issues. I know. You've just thrown in. I'm I'm to break something. So because we've had so many questions come in. I'm passionately delivered that I well, we're we're already running slightly late Yeah. Without question. So we have our next section is what's due when you're first diagnosed with ADHD. We're going to it's it was something that was actually recorded yesterday. So we're going to cut it slightly short, and we will we will play the whole of it at the end of the conference as well. But so that's how we're gonna make up a bit of time. So that's as a heads up for people. So we will still have that segment, but we will just slightly shorten it.

It has been very interesting watching questions come in and and and comments come up on on social media. A lot of people just say you are talking to them so in such a direct way and to their situation that they've just not heard that before, and it's so important. And so I'm very grateful for you to be part of the conference and talking to to that. Someone's asked if they're able like, are we gonna be able to have copies of the slides? Is that Oh, gosh. Yeah. It's going out into the world. That's okay. Well It's already gone out to it. Like Yeah. Thank you. Well, we'll put them on either a link to your site if you put them on your site or we can upload them to the Sure. To the schedule page. So you'll be able to get those later people.

Okay. From Fiona. I have I have a recently diagnosed ADHD daughter who is about to enter puberty. How can I best support her in dealing with this phase of her life?

Yeah. So yeah. This is really interesting because I find usually when people are supporting their children going into hormonal transitions like puberty, they are also going through a transition themselves, you know, being the age that we are at now. You know, we are some some of the women that I've I've spoken to, they're also dealing with perimenopause themselves whilst their children are going into puberty. And and I guess, really, you know, it is going to increase some ADHD traits. It doesn't mean that it will happen. Like, I I would say, like, really first place that you should should go to is to be mindful of what they need biologically, you know, whether that is something that you can get from nutrition.

To ensure that they are perhaps, you know, able to show up in in a way that, you know, isn't as detrimental as as if you didn't, you know, investigate that bit. So I think always starts from their lifestyle and their diet. Right? Because there are there's a lot you can do to support the hormonal changes. And and secondly, I I I I think it's to really be open to to understanding what the experience would look like. You know, teenagers, which are without ADHD, will have challenges going through puberty, and and they would test you and press your buttons. Right? And and and you need to be aware of that when you're going into into it, what your state is, because you need to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you support.

You know, your daughter because that's the only way that it will work. Right? I hope that answers it.

Thank you. Thank you. That was great. It's it's very it's very insightful. And I think talking to, you know, talking to the parent as well and their situation for ADHD, huge genetic components. Seventy five percent of ADHD is genetically described. We both live in this world, so when you meet someone, young, often or any age of like, you know, which where do you think it came from? Yeah. And Yeah. I'd like to need some interesting conversations. Someone's just sort of reached out and just said, I I definitely relate to what you're saying. We miss out on friendships sometimes due to the stigma or being labeled as weird. I can be doubly it can be doubly difficult when you have multiple disabilities and or different diversities.

Sorry. Was that a question? It's not really a statement, but I wondered if you had anything further to say on it. I think you'd have to. Yeah. Okay. Sorry. I I forgot what you said. Can you say it again? It's more about the compounding.

What do you like what do when you think about what do you think about the compounding impact of ADHD plus multiple disabilities plus different diversities?

Yeah. Well, on friendships and relationships. Yeah. So it's it's it's tough, isn't it? Yeah. Because if it was straight ADHD, then, you know, the challenges that we're dealing with, yeah, it's it's it's it's it's one prong. I mean, you don't know what other things you're dealing with. Like, you know, I I didn't know until I was diagnosed with ADHD that I'm also potentially autistic. Though I still don't don't have the validation for it because I I never received the diagnosis despite, you know, rehashing all my traumas twice. And and so what you are dealing with is, you know, a state of being that is unique to you and requires you to be compassionate to your own experience.

And it's so important that we we we we are, you know, developing a form of self compassion because otherwise, it's so easy to just submit ourselves to feelings of shame and and doubt. You know? But, yeah, there are a lot of compounding challenges with being not just ADHD, but, you know, potentially, ODHD. You know, outside of that as well, it's not just neurodivergence, is it? I mean, it's the mental health challenges from just living in a world, you know, and having to adapt. And also, yeah, what was your background like? You know? Where did you come from? What place did you start in society? And and that that all plays a role, isn't it, in how you're perceived.

When when you show up in in in nanny groups, you know, not just your friendship groups, but also your work and your study. And so there are different levels of privilege and oppression, right, that changes your experience.

There there are. And actually talking to that as a and I apologize to the person who's written it because I've I've had to read it very quickly. The there's a long question, which is someone who's diagnosed when they were in their sixties with ADHD and and now feels a lot of guilt about how they were with their children. And had a lot of things happen in their life, which they've they've talked to. Yeah. Do you have any comments on that? I'm just dealing with that regret in life?

Yeah. I mean, it's never too late to prepare, you know. And and and I would say that as long as you're showing a form of repentance because it very likely wasn't just your ADHD that led you to, you know, have that challenge with parenting. Because we also started somewhere. Right? The way we were parented. Even though we didn't want to become the parent that we dislike, we end up modeling their behavior subconsciously. Because when you go through childhood trauma, whether it's through abuse and neglect, you're not just watching things that are happening to you, you're also modeling it. You know? You're seeing.

What you can use, you know, in your toolbox going forward. So you can see sometimes that children end up modeling their parents' behavior despite not wanting to. And your journey forward from here is to repair and repair the rupture and maybe let go of the identity that you have acquired without knowing because you don't like that identity, did you?

I I think they and I think they I I definitely apologize since I'm butchering their question because I'm just trying to process it very quickly. It's a lot there. I I think they're also just very worried about their children. They they had a really tough time. We know people with ADHD often find themselves at the targets of frankly bad bad people exploiting the fact that they're outsiders, that they're different. Yeah. We had another question, which congratulations on all your research and achievements. I'm keen to understand more about late diagnosis in women and menopause. Could you speak to your understanding and findings?

Yeah. ADHD and menopause. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm in perimenopause. I don't even know if it is perimenopause, but I guess it's the ten years before menopause. So I guess I am in it because I'm 43. And I've been told that it comes to the actual menopause, it's way worse. So, you know, it's like, okay. So this feels like I've been diagnosed with ADHD and I fell off the cliff because there was no help, you know. And the help that they gave me was very tailored to one experience. So I was very angry. I don't mean to be. But, you know, I've I've gone through a lot of therapy now and, you know, I've had a lot of consultations with naturopaths. And I understand that, yes, you know, there are differences to our experience.

And as I said before, estrogen is the master regulator of a woman's brain health, not dopamine. You know, that might be someone else's master regulator, but estrogen had helped us, you know, when it was reliable. Maybe not all of us had reliable sex hormones, you know, but some of us did. And that's why so many women find that later in life, whether, you know, in their late thirties, mid thirties, late thirties, on your forties, Suddenly, you know, their executive functioning wasn't where it is. They couldn't regulate their emotions as well as they did before. But a lot of these also, you know, it it we don't live in a vacuum. It isn't in our body and then manifesting as ADHD.

We live in a relational context where there are people in our environment also who brings up, you know, certain reactions in it. You know? So what I'm trying to say is that, yes, you know, there are known biological differences, and you should be aware of that. But then there are also things in your environment, you know, that perhaps you can change. You know? And and and that that includes a lot of lifestyle factors, but also the quality of the relationships that you have around you.

Thank you. And we had a lovely call. Thank you a billion times, doctor Hiew. A billion thank yous. I'm in such desperate desperate straits right now, and you're helping me so, so much. Finally hearing words of wisdom. I'm a female, just been diagnosed a AUDHD at 55, new on ADHD meds. Sometimes feeling that it's driving me crazy. Just Yeah. Think to to someone showing, but, like, obviously, a a big deal. You're, yeah, you're you're speaking and you're speaking so passionately. We Peter has commented, I've noticed my ADHD manifest differently during different times of monthly cycle, but also excessive stress periods. Mhmm. But would her question is, to your understanding, would hormone therapy help ADHD regulation during menopause?

And she also, again, asked what can what can help during puberty.

Yeah. So for menopause, though, I I I think I answered that first. It really depends. You know? For some people, it works. For some people, it doesn't. And I go back to your actual ADHD, what that consists of. Because there are, you know, genetic mutations that some people might have whilst others won't in the ADHD population. And if you have that mutation, you know, I'm not saying one gene affects everything, but there is this gene that I've been going on about called COND where c c o m t, where if you have that mutation, it is responsible for around 60% of the dopamine in your frontal lobe. And when you have a lower activity of this enzyme, then you are less efficient in removing not just dopamine or not epinephrine, but also estrogen.

And as a result, estrogen can build up in your body at a time when estrogen's going up, who is seeing what is potentially a estrogen imbalance rather than an estrogen decrease so that that we know as what is going on at the moment in the ADHD body of a woman. Right? But all I'm saying is that it is different, you know, depending on your experience, what your profile is. So, yeah, it might help some people. It might not. So just yeah. I I think we should all do our part in having this caveat whenever we give out HRT when, you know, it comes to ADHD and neurodivergence and other mental health that has a genetic link behind it. And for puberty, I have heard that contraceptive pill helps some people, but I I'm I'm not an expert in in that. And.

Personally, I would always try the natural strategies first, the the natural remedies, like lifestyle, before you even attempt to add or, you know, change the levels of the the the the hormones. You know? Because a lot of what we go through can be mitigated with more understanding.

Thank you. Look. You've been amazing. Look. You've it's been a little bit longer than planned. You've said later. Thank you very much. Thank you for answering. There was a lot of passionate questions. I thought it was important. Yeah. So I just need to really say thank you so much. Thank you for all the work you do. Obviously, ADHD girls is a a wonderful thing. You talked to some of your work. Thank you very much for being part of this. It's a big deal, and I have to say goodbye. So Thanks so much, Henry. Much. Thanks so much for your attention too. Bye. Bye, everyone. Later.

Bye. Bye.