Thank you, Tanya. It's wonderful to see. And wonderful that you've.

Agreed to become an ambassador for the charity. Oh my god. I'm so happy, Henry. Thank you so much. And I really, really am honoured to be part of ADHD UK. It's such a great charity and it really, really is making a difference. I'm just so honoured to be part of it. Thank you. We're honored to have you as a part of it.

What you've been doing with the documentary is spectacular and incredibly important.

Hopefully, can make a difference together.

Absolutely looking forward to that. And thank you for agreeing to do this and agreeing to be part of the Global ADHD Conference. Yeah. We're thrilled about that also. These are let's go into the questions. Yes. The first one is really just for people to learn about you and your ADHD.

Can.

You tell us your ADHD story from when you first heard an inkling that you had ADHD and no?

I never heard of girls having ADHD. So back in my, like, my generation, it was just sort of naughty children. But I was never really naughty. I was more, like, shy. A lot going on mentally. I was an introvert, very, very shy, but always a lot going on in my head. I got bullied. And growing up, I just always there was always something, like, I just felt a bit detached from normal people, normal world, and for why they play in so effortlessly, and I find it really hard to and it was like I was viewing it was like I was just viewing a TV of the world, and I was on my own sort of thing. But didn't think anything of it, but I just I just thought that was the norm. It was when I was 19, I was I went to the doctors for depression.

Anxiety, and they give me antidepressants. And the GP just sort of threw these antidepressants at me. And this went on for, well, twenty years, twenty one years. And it was when I got to nearly 40 and all these antidepressants, I was just trialing and coming off them and having, like, bad side effects. And I paid private to go and see a specialist because I thought I can't live this anxiety anymore. I was kicking my fingers till they bleed, and I was my head inner thoughts were just it's like literally 20 TVs on my head all shouting, and and my leg was going. And oh, actually, I didn't realize any of that at the time. So when I went to see a specialist about anxiety.

He watched me for an hour, and I kept he's watched me very closely. And he said, have you ever thought have you ever has anyone ever told you that you could have ADHD? And I was like, no. And I was shocked. So when I went home to tell my mom and Phil, and I was like, the doctor thinks I've got ADHD. Because I thought my mom was gonna say, you have not got that. Thought she was gonna go, management. I've always known there was something. I thought, why did you take me? Because it just wasn't a thing. I've never heard of girls having it. When I found out that I did all the tests and everything and I've got it on high spectrum, it was a relief. It was like a, thank God. I was happy.

Some yeah. Some people like, they talk about being a relief, but also sadness. Yeah. Did you have that? Was it.

Do you know a lot like, a lot of people say they have sadness and they're scared and but I I just had complete relief. I had to because I'd felt so alone, so so just not right, so not normal, so not and I just felt complete happiness and sort of when I met other people of ADHD, felt like, I feel connected to someone. I felt alone all my life. And now when I meet someone else with ADHD, I feel like, oh, even if we don't get on, even, like, even if I've just met them, I just feel like, oh, it's by my people.

When you're to explain ADHD, how do you explain it?

It's so hard to explain ADHD, but it is like I've got 17 TVs on in my head and they never switch off. I call them, like, the genius ideas. I I I can have about seven genius ideas or business ideas in a day, and I'll get so excited, and I'll think, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do that. And then when I do all of that, and I promise this, I promise that, and then all of a sudden, I've overwhelmed myself, like and that's why I've got so many businesses. I'm hyper focused. I'm on it. Everything's colorful, and I'm just, like, zooming away, and then all of a sudden, overwhelmed and I'm just completely in a paralyzed and it's sort of in between those two worlds. And that's how it is so hard to it's like an inner restlessness.

Is hard to call that message. That's why it's a core question. Yeah. Want to get many people giving an explanation.

Because it's like you're either hyper or you just completely can't move. And it's but I'm not hyper whereas when I'm running around, it's my my head, and no one can see it. Yeah. So loads of people say, we well, ADHD. And my husband goes, where's your hyperness? It's in my head. And do know what? Some one of the worst traits that I've always had, and I realize it now, is, say, when I was bullied and I can hyper I was hyper focusing on people, what people have thought of me. So then I was sort of talking myself into a black hole. And now so I have to really, really brainwash myself with positivity.

Otherwise, I can hyper focus on, oh, they think this about me. They think that about me. This is this. I'm not holding off of I could if I hyper focus on one by four and I could just and I can't get off that train, now I catch myself and I get myself off that train, writing down, meditation, I'm just sort of brainwashing. I have to brainwash myself because that hyper focus, if that goes down that negative train, it's hard to it can take you to a really dark place if you if if you don't know that you're hyper focusing on this on this dark stuff. And I've took myself down to almost suicide by doing that. So that's my number one thing is and that's why I think being diagnosed is so important to realize hyper focus.

You can't you don't just hyper focus on, you know, on on in like, social media. They go, oh, you're hyper focusing on hobbies. You can hyper focus on negative stuff that can take you down, down, down, down, down. That's recognise that and get yourself off that.

Thank you for sharing that and sharing that way you're feeling through it on that. Is important. Would you be happy to share your medication story?

Yeah, so I was really excited to start my medication because I thought oh my God, I've got ADHD and the psychiatrist is going give me these pills and I'm going to be fixed. I tried the first one and god, I was happy. I had no mental chatter. I was relaxed, but I was sort of like I sat like that. I was so calm, so happy. But I was filming for a TV show, and it needed personality, and it needed me to speak and move. But I just sat like that zoned out. So I thought, I can't I can't earn money or it just took away anything. Internally, I was happy. Probably when when I get to about 95, I'm gonna refine those tablets and just sit like happy. But I'm not 95. You know what? I need I still need to be me, not just this zombie.

Even though internally I was happy. So I tried the next one, and then that was giving me a dry mouth. And I was doing, like, really, really biting my nails. And One of them actually, my valet came off, I thought, uh-huh, uh-huh, that's not a good look. They had to go. And then the third ones, I kept having heart palpitations. And I didn't realise it at the time, but looking back, I was forgetting to eat. And then I kept going, oh, this is but then I was hyper focused. So I thought this is great. I'm getting loads of work done. Yeah. Because I thought the the other two were not so good. I was getting so much work done. I kept going, oh my god, my heart was just working through it and not eating and ended up having a seizure.

Which really scared my friends and family and me, of course. So after recovering with that, I just had to come off the medication. I think it was just too much to and being given antidepressants since for twenty years when I haven't got anxiety and depression, it was ADHD, I think the chemicals in my brain, it was too much and, yeah, I had a seizure. So now I I do the natural route, which I'm not about natural, Henry, at all. I'm about implants, veneers. There's nothing natural about me apart from my ADHD medication, which shocks everyone. Yeah.

So I might meditate. I I wake up in the morning, and I'm religious, so I have to sit my earphones in, meditate, and I pray, which is just quieting my mind down. The cold showers. Cold showers, I hate them. They're so good. Exercise. Hate exercise, but have to exercise every day. Have to have a routine, and I have to sleep. I'm like a baby, so I have to have my sleep. And it's eating, and it's it's doing all the things that everyone knows they should do, but they don't do. But you have to do them. Otherwise, if you don't have routine, my life is just gonna go into toxic mess, chaos. So I've got a choice. I have my routine. It's the little things that add up to a nice life. Or if I just let my if I just.

I can yeah. It's routine or chaos. That's that's the choice I've got.

Thank you. I love that phrase. It's routine or chaos. Which will particularly resonate with you for any parent of an ADHD kid. Yeah, yeah. And the price of adults just as much. Yeah. Talked about, you touched on it a bit, like how your ADHD has impacted your work. Yeah. And I suppose the wider question on how do you think being ADHD and being the media, being on TV, do think that's a good idea or a bad idea? What's your view?

Think, do you know, I've got two mindsets about people with ADHD being on TV and it depends on their core personality, really. It's such a hard one because you can have a nice person with ADHD and you you can have a I I just don't I don't really know where I stand with it, but I do think that ADHD is hard because off camera.

What would your advice be to someone with ADHD looking to pursue a career in in TMA? We obviously as a charity, right, we support people. Yes. Yeah. Completely. Yeah. We want to see those people that we're.

Yeah. Definitely. But also, like also, I think channels have to look after because sometimes you can impulsively say or act things because as scientists say, we have a think it. But I suppose that's when you're younger. Like now, I wouldn't it's really hard to god. I'm being so ADHD right now. I don't know. I've got so many so many conversations going on in my head, but I I think ADHD, you should be able to do whatever the hell you want no no matter what. But I also my modern instinct is look after them. The channels look after them. If they say something they don't mean because it they've it's just an impulse, then don't show that and hang them out to dry. That's what that's what I'm that's what I'm trying to say.

Thank you. What would a young undiagnosed Tanya think of you now?

I think she'd be proud. I think she'd probably think she's not grown up. I'm still the same me. And I think and I think that's one of my good characters is they're still young at heart.

If you could speak to that.

Young Tanya, what would you say to them? I'd probably put my hand over their mouth. Say, do she don't say it. Think. Do the CBT. Think before you speak. No. I'd like to cuddle her, and I'd like to just stroke her head and all those thoughts and all those all those horrible thoughts. Just give her a cuddle and just say, it's it's okay. It's okay.

Can you tell us why you did it? If any, what your views of ADHD have changed from doing.

I was on a reality show for seven years.

There's a second part to that also, which is what was the most surprising revelation. Was there a particular Okay. Scroll back to the light. You've done it.

So I was on a TV show for seven years, I was loads of side effects with the antidepressants and everything. And and that's when things got really my anxiety got really bad whilst filming. And I was just struggling with everyday life, and and it was when I was on the show that I discovered that I had ADHD. I was struggling with that medication. And I just thought I need to be able to control myself. I need to be in control of my life and my ADHD before I can film anymore. So I left, which give me more time, and then I got off a documentary. And I jumped at chance the because I thought it's gonna lead me to amazing people, which it has with you, Henry. And I've been on a journey, and I knew I had ADHD, but I had a lot to learn. I mean, I'm.

Nearly 40. I've just been told I've got ADHD, and this gives me the chance to go on a journey and learn more about it and learn more about the different aspects of it and meet lots of different people with it. And I'm babbling on in an ADHD way. But, yeah, it's one of the best decisions I've ever made.

Fantastic. It's a big deal you're telling the world you've got ADHD. Generally, it is a big deal. Yeah. And it means a lot to a lot of people. As you've come out talking about your ADHD.

What are the positives and negatives you've found from that? I was so scared about coming out that I had ADHD because I thought, are people gonna think I'm just a nutter? And are people gonna see me different? And I thought, everyone's always said I'm a nutter anyway, so what? And do you know what? I've had nothing but positivity. And the thousands, hundreds and thousands of messages straight away, I think I have got it. I've always known what you said has resonated. My son, my daughter, everyone somehow has got a story about ADHD related to them and wanting to know more information. And that's why I was so keen on doing the documentary because so many people have so many questions that are unanswered, including myself.

Thank you. Do you have a favourite ADHD strategy?

My favourite ADHD strategy is praying to God. And it's not really God. It's it's a higher power. So I'm I'm not really religious, but I get on my hands and knees, and it's sort of my hands, knee, my heart. It's more of a it's more of a meditation but in a prayer pose. It's more breathing really. It's just focusing on what I want instead of because you put that hyperfocus can take you down. If I get on my hands and knees, it's more of a change in my state, change in my pose that will take me out of that sort of change in the hyperfocus of negativity. So it's knees, hands, and and just that. And a cold shower. There's nothing like shaking your brain out of a negative hyperfocus of a cold shower, but it really does work.

It's not like that. And it burns fat. Last question. Is a traditional last question. What impact of your ADHD has made you saddest and what has made you happiest? If you could do saddest first, happiest last so we end on a hard What impact is my ADHD? Personal ADHD? What's your ADHD? How has it made you saddest?

The one that's made me saddest is seeing my mom and dad's face when they knew that I tried to take my own life. Because nothing can I just can't even imagine what it would be like if I knew that my one of my babies has tried to take the wrong life? I'd be I'd just be they've given me nothing but an amazing, amazing life. And it's just an internal struggle that I knew nothing about and they knew nothing about. I mean, they always knew that I had something not but, yeah, that's the saddest thing, just seeing the sadness in their eyes. But the happiest thing the happiest thing is doing this documentary and and saying finding out, basically. I think god put me in I say god, my higher power was who I I pray to.

Put me on the show, and I discovered I had ADHD so that I could tell other people and my story could I feel like we're all learning as we go along with the people who've been messaging me anyway, the the thousands and thousands of ladies and and and men. I'm babbling on because I'm just sort of been sidetracked by the first bit. Yeah.

Well, thanks for just sharing the first it's quite Yeah.

Yeah. But it does get better. It does get better. And I think the more work we do, the more community we can grow, the more people know about it, and I'm babbling on again.

How does it make you feel to know that you've got this ADHD learning and understanding in and being able to help your son.

Do you know what? As soon as I recognised the signs with my son, well he's always had it, but it took till I got diagnosed. For me to and it's only when everyone was going, me and Mocka have always been the same. Like, I'll I'm round bursts or, like, or or everything about us has always been the same. So he wouldn't have been diagnosed if I hadn't have been. So he could have easily gone through the same pain that I did. So I feel really, really lucky that, hopefully, touch wood that he'll never tell me that he's had to tried to take his own life like my mom and dad had to find out. Hopefully.

Thank you so much for sharing all that. Thank you for all you've been doing.

Oh, thank you, Henry. You're making such a big difference, and I really appreciate it. You're just making such a big community, and I think it's I think it's brilliant. Dolliver's are on our own. We've all got each other. We have our gang together.

It is a wonderful thing. Thank you very much. Thank you for all you're doing. Thank you for the work you're doing. Thank you for being an ambassador. Oh, thank you, Henry. Thank you.

Thank you. Thanks.