Kia ora, everyone, and welcome to ADHD New Zealand segment of this world's first Global ADHD Conference. We're we are so excited to be involved, and we're really excited about what we're seeing. Some of us have been up since 1AM New Zealand time watching, and we're really excited to participate. So tenakoto tenakoto tenakoto. Toka Inoa. You'll hear some phrases through today from our lovely Maori language, which we know as. And what I've just said is I acknowledge you. I acknowledge all of you, and my name is Darren, chairperson of ADHD New Zealand. Today, we're going to talk to these wonderful people, Jenny and Tracy, and you've seen their videos before our session started. We couldn't find more perfect people to talk about education.

Especially in primary and secondary, and I'll let them introduce themselves in a second. One of our little messages in Tareo is the phrase for ADHD, which is This means attention goes to many things. We love this phrase because, as you know, ADHD, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, is simply a horrible phase, and Ara Raratini is much, much better. So this is the start of our campaign to change the name, so wish us luck. Before we go on, we do have a small disclaimer. It's a privilege to have these two with us today, and it's a panel that the views, the information, or opinions expressed during the discussion are solely those of the individuals involved. They're not intended to.

Represent the views of ADHD New Zealanders' employees and our volunteers. We are not responsible, and we do not have to verify the accuracy of any of the information discussed. The primary primary purpose of this panel is to discuss, educate, and inform. It's really important that this doesn't constitute advice, that you don't view it as constitution medical advice, and also with the questions that you don't ask any personal questions as well. Of course, we want questions. The questions can be sent through globaladhd.com, and also feel free to donate as well. So before we introduce these two lovely ladies, my name is Darren. I'm chair of ADHD NZ, and I have two ADHD.

Children and have also been fighting the education system and have many, many stories of the education system in my children as well. But, Jenny, I'll start off with you. Introduce yourself, please.

Thank you. It's really lovely to be here, Darren. I started out as a primary trained teacher. My career was going on quite nicely until we had our second child, and I realized quite quickly that he was different from our first. And at first, I thought it was because he was a boy, and then there was a few things that really alerted me to the fact that he was quite different. I can remember waking up at 07:00 one morning. I went to get him from his room, and he was gone. He was not yet three, and you can imagine my panic. We lived on a farm with troughs and waterways. And after about an hour, he was actually found. He'd gone a kilometer and a half down the road on his two wheeler bike with trainer wheels. And.

That was the kind of child he was, just a disappearing axe. He also used to be found on the apex of roofs, and suddenly you'd look up and you'd see him a couple of stories up, and we had to talk him down. And most children don't do that sort of thing. I had trouble getting babysitters because nobody wanted that responsibility. He went off to kindergarten, and within a few weeks, the kindergarten teacher said to me, your son's going to need a good wife. I thought, what does he mean by that? And, basically, he went around from activity to activity, and he left a trail of destruction behind him. Now, fortunately, he had many saving graces. He had a sense of humor, which came out as a toddler. He had personality class, and everybody loved him.

But as we know, that at some point or other, that kind of thing stops being cute. And he went off to school, and his classroom teacher said to me he was an October baby. And by Christmas, she was saying, look. He's just not meeting his milestones. And I said, look. No matter. I'm a good primary trained teacher. I prided myself on my ability at the time to teach reading and to teach literacy. I said, I'll just get stuck in with him over the holidays and do some work with him, and it will be fine. And then to my shock, it actually wasn't fine. And I remember thinking, how come I'm a trained primary teacher, and I'm struggling to help my own child with learning?

So that really set up a journey for me, and he went on to be diagnosed with both dyslexia and ADHD. And my journey as a specialist teacher sort of really started from there. And along the way, I was actually to find out that I myself had in the teens of type ADHD that had been undiagnosed also. So it's been a very interesting time for me. And, of course, all this sort of understanding and knowledge really led me to write two books that one for schools to support schools and teachers to better support children with learning difficulties, and the other book, a book that's just being printed right now for parents to help them support their children as they grow up and also in education.

And I'm very excited to be able to share these these courses with the ADHD community in New Zealand. And along with the book, we have three sessions. The first session looks at sort of understanding the true nature of learning differences, how society has actually and education has had misconceptions about ADHD and learning difficulties in general, and we look at the full range of characteristics of learning differences. The second session supports our children's success in education, a very important step. Many parents talk about the challenges they have in education. And the third section, which we'll be talking about a bit more shortly, the multimodal approach and why it's just so important for achieving children's success.

Thank you, Jenny. I've read the first book, which is for teachers, and it's fantastic. But that's your website underneath, and that's where people can get the books.

That's right. Yes.

Brilliant. Brilliant. And and I can highly recommend them. And as we move to the next slide, let me introduce Tracy on my bottom left.

Kia ora. Hello, everybody. Just sharing a little bit about myself. I know you've already seen a little clip of Jenny and I to get the ball rolling. And very much like Jenny's story, it's a journey. So started for me when at Play Center, which is in in New Zealand, I believe it might be overseas as well, where parents actually go and it's it's set up like kindy, but we attend. So I got a good chance to actually see other children of the same age and how they're acting and interacting, and and we noticed that there was a big difference with my son. So quite early, 3.5, we had him at the pediatrician.

And we're really struggling and didn't really understand what was going on. We thought we were doing everything right, everything by the book, had those parenting books, you know, the the usual ones. And over time, we started off with a ADHD question mark and then added a few more letters. We got ASD, so on the autism spectrum. And then as we went through primary school and and had a number of challenges and barriers pop up, dyslexia as well, we had them tested for that. So it has been an absolute roller coaster ride. I have two children. So my my eldest is now 17, so we did make it through. But it was certainly.

A lot more difficult than what I had ever thought or imagined. I was dealing with things that were just completely out of my scope. I I never thought that my child would be stood down from primary school three times, for example. And even though I did have a great family who supported me and I met some amazing friends and people that also supported me, I still felt very alone and isolated. And I was comparing myself to those other parents and thinking, how come they can get everything done? Their house looks great. You know, they take their kids out to the supermarket and for coffee. And, you know, sometimes I have to think, have I put underarm on? Did I wash my children? You know? So it it it was.

A lot of guilt and a lot of self blame. So after years of struggling, I found ADHD New Zealand and actually went to a course that was run by Jenny. So that kind of started the ball rolling, and I pulled my head out of the sand. Things weren't magically going to correct themselves and started learning and learning and learning, and I'm still learning. Through that process, I myself, someone's Jenny was diagnosed. And for me, it was like a hallelujah moment because it meant that I could stop thinking, okay. Well, I'm not good enough. I'm rubbish because I can't organize. I can't, you know, have routines and structure.

And balancing your own personal issues and mental health as well as trying to support and advocate for your complex kids is it's tricky. So it was a battle, a battle with myself, a battle with the commune you know, with schools, and a battle with my child. So with the ADHD parenting course, I discovered that as well and loved it so much that I decided I would like to learn how to do this. So trained with Kerry. So since the workshop first got brought over with Jenny and Kerry, we've changed the content, New Zealandized it, as well as updating because there is so much research, so much new information about ADHD.

Mhmm.

And the main goal is to empower parents and to validate what's happening in their lives that they're not alone. There are others who have the same experience. So with research, evidence based techniques, experts opinion, we talk about communication, practical strategies to improve family relationships, look at how we're doing things, simple things like communication, and how we need to adjust that. It's primarily aged school aged children, Tamariki, right through to teens, rangatahi. And we believe in a collaborative approach such as Ross Green recommends, and it's about celebrating our successes and learning from our experiences. So.

COVID was a terrible time. A lot of us were stuck at home with our children and really realized how difficult and challenging learning was for them. So with that and with the fact people became a lot more comfortable being online, we've developed the course and changed it around so that we can offer online so we can reach more communities, more people who are struggling. And, yeah, just because, like, the rest of the world, it's it's it's hard to get support. It's hard to find specialists. And I think you found that too, Jenny.

Yes. The impact of COVID was really difficult for parents. All of a sudden, parents were schools were in lockdown. Parents had to teach their own children, and I had more parents contacting me the last two years for support. Many realized for the first time the extent of their children's difficulties because they were doing homeschooling, and they also didn't feel equipped. You know? So it was just so challenging, and it makes these courses just even more important.

Oh, absolutely.

I completely agree. And for those out there in the world watching this, adhd.org. N z, if you go to our website, you'll be able to enroll in both online courses. You don't have to be in New Zealand to do the courses because I suspect that the stories we have and the lovely stories you've heard from Tracy and Jenny are something we all can relate to. I certainly could. And every time I talk to these two ladies, all I can is reflect on how inadequate I felt as a parent of my children until you start to do these courses and realize that there's others on the journey and that you need to think differently. But, Tracy, I think that's a good segue to you and your next slide, isn't it? I mean, why is ADHD, you know, so misunderstood?

Well, where do I start? I think predominantly because ADHD is an invisible disability. So you can't see it. You can't see the differences until you see the behavior or the way that our kids interact and and react and respond. So there are so many contradictions. It's so inconsistent, and there are so many stereotypes around it. So people have a very limited understanding, and they think of it as, you know, a condition with boys predominantly just bouncing around and being incredibly hyperactive and impulsive, whereas that's only a very small part of the story. And ADHD is heterogeneous, and that means that it looks different in individuals. So each has different strengths, different challenges, and different ways of showing it. So.

There are three types, so three presentations, and that reflects the complexity of the condition. So in New Zealand and Australia, I believe, we use the DSM five, which is the diagnostic and statistical manual in rupture number five because it's been updated as our knowledge base expands so that it's a bit more inclusive. So we have the primarily hyperactive impulsive presentation, which I think we can all guess what that involves, which is acting as if they're different by motor, bouncing around, often impulsive, dangerous behavior. And it's more common in children and also in males. And we have inattentive, which is the daydreamers. So very hard to focus, follow instructions. They get lost very easily.

And this type is more common in presentation in girls and, yeah, females, and it tends to be over the the lifespan. And then we have combined, and they have six out of the nine criteria for the inattentive and six of the nine criteria from the hyperactive. So they're very inconsistent. And I think these guys are the ones that gets labeled, you know, as bad children. So all of these characteristics are and the symptoms that need that we use to diagnose are actually behavioral symptoms, but there's a lot more behind the scenes. So in terms of emotional regulation, cognitive patterns, sleep difficulties, you know, there's a lot going on, and there's also co occurring conditions. So most people with ADHD don't just have ADHD. So they might have.

Learning issues. They might have sensory processing, which isn't always associated with ADHD, autism. So I think, yeah, Jenny would find that as well in in in her dealings with some of these kids. Mhmm. True.

Tracy, you choose your words carefully. You said co occurring. Now I am sure there are scientists in this this watching this around the world looking at their books and saying, hang on. Don't you mean comorbidity?

Another lovely word. A negative word. Comorbid just sounds awful. And I think to to try and move away from the negativity, let's try and move away with those negative terms because how we communicate, it it it actually makes a difference. So if we're talking about these things in such a negative way I mean, I I don't see ADHD as as a gift necessarily, but it's not a curse either. Yeah. You know? It's just different. Yeah. And in fact, how we can tell the difference and bust one of those myths and stereotypes that ADHD is a made up condition is by actually looking at the structural differences in the brain and the areas that are impacted. So there's a number of areas. And, again, moving away from the thought that ADHD.

Is a behavioral condition to the fact that it's actually neurodevelopmental. So what that means is there are structural differences in the brain of people with ADHD. So some are more obvious, and they and they really tie or link in with the characteristics. So what some of those symptoms and criteria are for a diagnosis. So some of the main challenges, they're all to do with different locations in the brain. So the prefrontal cortex, which is our executive function command area, which is attention focused planning. Our limbic system, which is our more basic system, so emotion, attention, basal ganglia, which is how our brain it's the relay system, the intercommunication, and reticular activating system, which is also that relay.

System between inattention, impulsivity, hyperactivity. So neurotransmitters, you'll see up there. There are three main transmitters associated with ADHD. And it's not that we don't have them. It's just that it's to do with the communication. They're not released in the right time to the right place and so on. So that's what medication helps to improve. And also motor control. So fine gross motor skills. And I think that that also really ties in with with the learning because of the fact they might struggle with pencils, you know, holding Yep. Pencils and so on and writing and coordinating those kind of things. So it's really important to remember that average developmental delay is two to three years. And that's only the average.

So brains don't finish maturing until nearly 30. So we need to keep that in mind when we're dealing with our rangatahi or youth with ADHD as well and even some of our adults.

Yeah. I'm smiling again, Tracy, because I remember the amount of money we spent on teaching my son during primary school how to hold a pen or a pencil. And after about a year of little progress, the specialist said, well, why don't you just, you know, give him a laptop and he can start typing? And all I could think of was that was simple. And a laptop was cheaper than the time we spent with you. So it's those little things matter. And, Jenny, that's a good segue when we look at the learner wave models and how different people can learn as well. And I'll ask our friendly person in The UK to press move forward on the slide. Yeah. There we go. Thanks.

It's really it was a very interesting time for me when I became involved with Spelled, and I worked nationally with different organizations. And I remember thinking there's something not quite right here. When I looked at my training, we were actually trained for sort of mainstream teaching. And if all of the people in our audience, if you'd like to think back to your own journey in education, For some of us, that was quite a long time ago. But there was always some students who learned really easily. If you put some learning experiences in front of them, gave them some resources, they would just often learn really quickly. We often call those students gifted and talented students. I call them first wave learners.

They catch the first wave of learning. Now the majority of our students are mainstream learners. I call them second wave. They may even be like your good b students, children who achieve above their chronological age. They may be the children who are achieving at their chronological age, or they may even be achieving a bit below, six months to two years below. And we do a lot of great things in education. We've got great resources. We've got good specialist people. We've got some great programs. And it's usually not too difficult to bring the children who are six months to two years below their chronological age up to age or close to it. I'm going to miss our third wave for a moment, and I'm going to go to fourth wave.

Our fourth wave come under the umbrella of special education. And in different countries, they'll have different terms, but, generally, there are funded students, And there are students who have things like major sensory difficulties like vision and hearing. They may have intellectual difficulties. They may have physical difficulties and need support around the school for that. And that's only a very small percentage of students. Now the group that's actually missing in the middle is our third wave. And these are students who have things like dyslexia, dyspraxia, children on the autistic spectrum. I count ADHD in there, not because ADHD is considered a learning difficulty, but as Tracy so very rightly says, that many.

Things are co occurring. And so it's quite common to have ADHD and dyslexia, ADHD and beyond the spectrum. In fact and I think this is a little known fact. We know that fifty percent of children with dyslexia will also have ADHD, and that actually poses a challenge. I thought that my boy was rather unusual, but it's actually very common. And in my experience, I found that unless you understand and identify all the co occurring things, you actually don't get the outcomes that you want. So understanding this is so important. And, also, in that group are children with auditory and visual processing disorders.

Now you can get varying statistics all over the world, but the general consensus is that the student numbers that fit the third wave in all those areas is around twenty two percent of our students. Now people say that's minority, and, yes, it is a minority, but it's not a small one. And if you are one of those twenty two percent who struggle in the education system, you know, life is very difficult for you. And I think back to my own teacher training, and what I realized is that we were trained for mainstream education. We had some training in extending students and the gifted and talented. Many of us did specialist teaching courses that would help the fourth wave, and those are readily available.

And there's also a lot of support from the ministry in that area. But this whole group that's actually missing in the middle is third wave. And one of the biggest challenges in education is that we haven't trained our schools and our teachers to work with children who fit that third wave model. And our system just doesn't really set up for them. And I'm sure that if you're listening, you can think about where you fit all your children that you work with. And if you're in education, I'm sure that you will see in all of your classes that you've got first, second, third, and fourth wave learners. So.

I believe that we've actually made a mistake in education, and we haven't really identified this group. So we tend to try and use low literacy programs, with good specialist programs that we've got. But, of course, we still end up with a lot of children who are underachieving. And in New Zealand, as in some other countries, we've got a long tail of underachievers in our bell curve. And I believe that this is the reason that this group remains. And in fact, I know across New Zealand, and I also work in Australia, that many of our children have worked with specialists. They've usually had two or three good remediation programs just like you were talking to, Darren, about the work that you did with your son.

And yet our children are still well below their chronological age. And that says to me that there is a group that our system actually isn't working for. So the next question that people say sorry. Is why? Was that what you were gonna ask? Yes.

Yes. Yes. That's a good question.

And there are see, I can mind read as well. There are actually six main difficulties that children have. Auditory and visual processing difficulties detected with learning difficulties. Phonological awareness is huge, and we've got a lot of discussion in the world right now, actually, because the British, American, Australian, and New Zealand research is saying that we actually have to change the way that we teach literacy, and we have to have a phonemic and phonological approach. There is also short term and working memory difficulties, which Tracy mentioned as being particularly difficult for ADHD. Processing delays is another big one, and Tracy also mentioned the gross and fine motor skills, the organization, and the attention.

So there's so much going on for our learners with additional learning needs.

Yeah. There sure is. And I wanna do a particular mention of the great work that Spelled do. Jenny, you've been part of Spelled, and Spelled is in New Zealand and Australia. Is that right?

Correct. And in yes. Yes. Yeah. Yes. And.

For those out there, it's go to their website, spelled.org.nz, and Google the one for Australia, because this is spelled as a particularly effective tool in your toolbox as a parent and Absolutely. A key reason for my son's success. But there's also a really interesting question that's come through is this is from a learning assistant who must work in a school. Is there a course for a learning assistance in schools that you know of?

I found that particularly challenging because when I looked at the courses for learning assistance, there were some very good general teacher aide courses. But what I'm more concerned about is training teacher aids and literacy assistants to be able to meet the needs of at risk learners. So if you want to go to my website, there is a comprehensive course. It's a specialist teacher aid program which trains you in working with children with all learning difficulties.

And, Jenny, what's your website again?

Ww.raisingachievement.com.au.

Brilliant. Thank you. And I just, again, wanna back up what Jenny has said. As part of our journey with Matt, my wife has done the teacher aids course, and it was a good course. And TAs, as they call them in New Zealand, you know, are the angels for our children, but they're not trained in really the helping with education. It's really sort of helping with behavioral, and I think that's an important thing. If you're interested, go to that website. And if we go to the next slide, Tracy, one of the big things I had to learn as a parent is to reframe the whole conversation internally as well as with our family.

Absolutely. And that's one of the basic and fundamental things that you need to do, and and that's what having more knowledge will enable as well. Because once you have more understanding about what's going on under the surface, it explains so much. And I know sometimes parents are hesitant and and say, I don't want to get a diagnosis because it's gonna label my child and that will stick with them. But as as the wonderful doctor Barclay says, having a label, having a diagnosis means that you provide a reason for the behavior. So these these kids, these people are not being judged and thought of as having character flaws. There's actually fundamental.

Challenges going on, and it's not their fault. They're not choosing it. So once you kind of get to grips with that, it's about adjusting your expectations. And so that's not just as you said, it's for ourselves, parents, because we all have a preconceived idea of what it's gonna be like. As I said, you know, Facebook's full of pictures of people out there doing amazing things with their children. And and so we have a lot staring us in the face that we can compare ourselves to. So it's about letting go of that for you and how, you know, you're expecting yourself to be able to do everything and be perfect. And also of our children.

You know, how they're supposed to be little angels and seen and not heard and all that kind of nonsense. It's very old fashioned. Mhmm. So it's about giving yourself a break and giving your children a break. Being a bit more realistic. And and finding I think too, with with the course, we try and give so so there's not a phrase, a one thing we can say. Hey. You say this or you do this, and everything's going to fall magically into place. It doesn't work like that. But we try and give a number of options. So here are some strategies to try because everyone's different. We're all individuals. We have different family, whanau. We have different backgrounds, ethnicities. You know? So many things contribute.

So it's about finding the path that works for you.

Yeah. Exactly. And that's an important phrase. And look, before we go on, go to globaladhd.org, donate. We're looking to raise money for education and ADHD, as well as send us your questions as well. But I wanna pick up your theme on a theme which is a little bit personal, and I'll go to you, Tracy, and then, Jenny, be interested in your thoughts. Of course, one of one of the issues as a parent is actually dealing with the schools and respectfully to those from school land out there. This can be really disheartening. You have issues of schools suggesting doing parents' courses like we had. We've also had issues from our members around New Zealand. I call them doctor school when somehow the teacher has the.

Thinking pattern that they can actually say, hey. I think you need to increase the meds for your kids. This must be a key question that you must get as well in your course.

Absolutely. And so so it is very much a balance because it's about advocating for your child and yet not putting the school on the defensive. So certainly going in go on the Ministry of Education website, find out exactly what you can do, what information's there already, and then you can add to that. If you go in with the collaborative approach, so we need to be working on this together. It it needs to be something that you can fine tune because it it does get really hard when you finally get your house sorted and your home and and start making improvements there, and yet you know that they're gonna go to school, and it's not in your control. And so those supports and accommodations that you have set up at home aren't at school.

And so that, you know, your kids are gonna come home, and they're just gonna be absolutely exhausted from trying to put up that front and that mask and keep it together. So, yeah, definitely, I think we should all be a little bit more open to working together and and, you know, not dismiss it off the other. Everyone has valid issues. We know our kids better than anyone, and the teachers know the education system. So it's about getting a balance.

Partnership. And and, Jenny, is that something you've came across?

Very much so. And I actually don't mind admitting, and I've said this on a number of occasions, and I've even said it at sort of prominent meetings. I've got a specialist teaching qualification. I've got a postgraduate qualification in literacy, and I work full time in this area. And yet I've actually struggled to bring my own child through the education system. And when I've said that, people actually their mouths drop open, and they're actually quite shocked. And I think, fundamentally, we talked a little bit about it before that because teachers haven't had the training, they actually don't know what to do either. And so partly, it's this teacher development.

And process that we actually need to go through. But I've found that the best outcomes come when we have a homeschool partnership, and I mean a real team approach to actually working with us. And in the book, Be Wobbly Kids for Parents, I've spent quite a few chapters helping parents to navigate the school system, how to be involved in setting up learning plans that will actually make the difference for their child and also to work with teachers. And, of course, I work in schools as well around training teachers and helping people to make change. And you mentioned the medication. And, you know, we've mentioned that multimodal approach. And the medication and the diagnosis.

Is actually only one part of it. We've also got the social, the emotional, and behavioral, and the educational. And it's not just a question of giving children medication and expecting that everything is actually going to fall into place. We actually and I found that unless you address all of those areas, you end up not getting the outcomes that you want or not. Mhmm.

Mhmm. And now building on your point and and the slide that you have here now that should if you could just pop back a slide. Thanks, Anna. The it is a partnership. Supporting children to achieve is a partnership. Take us through some of these points as well.

That's interesting. We briefly mentioned structured literacy earlier, and and I'd like to reinforce what you actually said about spelled. My training came with spelled New Zealand. And Mhmm. For those who have done specialist training, that seems to be an avenue that most of us have actually worked with. And I I learned the phonemic and the phonological approach and the structured literacy, which we now call it, through that. And we recognize that because our children learn differently, that unless they have this approach, they actually won't succeed. So one of the sessions in the growing great children with learning difficulties course focuses on supporting parents with teaching reading and also resources and for spelling.

So that they can actually support their children with learning at home. So it's all about supporting our children for success.

And, again, going back to Tracy's point, this is a mindset change. So you may have had a dream of sending your children to school and everything works. So as a parent, you have to get involved. And that's a key message in Jenny's book as well. Let's have a look at the next slide, which looks at this multimodal approach. The what is what do you mean by a multimodal approach, first of all?

Would you like to speak first on that, Tracy?

Oh, okay then, Jenny. So multimodal is really it's a holistic approach. It's like Jenny would had just mentioned before, not one thing on its own is going to work. So you need a combination because we are complicated. These are complicated conditions. And so just medical is not really enough. So there is a lovely little saying, again, I it was doctor Barclay, pills don't teach skills. So what medication allows is a person to perhaps be able to focus long enough to take some of these strategies and learn them, to practice them. And so having that approach, yeah, it helps in the other areas because it means that you can do work on perhaps ways of recognizing different emotions, ways to approach situations and talk to people and make friends.

How to react in situations that is more appropriate than the normal impulse of reacting. And this all takes time, so there is no quick fix. And and with medication, so many people have opinions on it. It is another one of those myths that, oh my gosh. How can you give your child this kind of medication and and it's a drug and and they associate it with other illegal substances, and it is totally not that. And it does not act direct in a person with ADHD's brain in the same way. It increases those neurotransmitter levels. So it allows us to be more focused, more motivated, less impulsive, all of those kind of things. And just upping the dose doesn't necessarily work. It can take time to find the right type of medication and the right dosage.

So it's not a cure all, and it depends with with how many co occurring conditions there are as well as to the efficacy of the medication. So it it is a process very much. So Sure is. To add to that, Jenny?

Yeah. I actually don't mind admitting either. When I was first going through this with our own son, I thought if you got a diagnosis, you had a good you dealt with your education. You actually had a good homeschool partnership, that everything would be well in our world. I actually have to admit I was wrong. And what I now know is that unless you have a social, emotional, and behavioral approach going on alongside those things, that your child still trips over anyway. And I've also found that the earlier we get started with the multimodal approach, the easier it is. And it doesn't often when children are teenagers, they become more opinionated.

And so starting this process at eight when, you know, they're ready to understand those concepts is just so important.

Yeah. That's a good point. I'll quickly get this out, so I think I'm about to sneeze. Sorry. Hey. So it's it's a question from our audience. What for you, Jenny, what is included in the social part of the multimodal approach? And how's it different from behavioral and education?

That's a very important question, so thank you to the person who asked that. Social, every aspect of learning difficulties has a social component. Tracy mentioned that many of our children are developed mentally behind. They're often quite immature. They often get on better with younger children than themselves or older children than themselves, but they have trouble relating to children the same age. And they because of their impulsive behavior, we often say that they do on the brain out the mouth kind of things. And when you actually, you know, speak before you think, that doesn't actually have good outcomes. So they can often actually lose friendships.

People with ADHD are often quite social, and they want to have friends, but they just have trouble keeping that. And we talk about social skills programs and skills, but the level of social skill programs and skills are basic fundamental social skills support that children need. Our children need it much more specifically. And then also with their impulsive behavior, they often do things that are like, can be dangerous. They sometimes don't realize their own strength. So those factors impact as well. So it's really important that we address those things with, you know, our students. And I'm always reminded actually by an American specialist, Rick Lavoie. And Rick Lavoie talks about social.

Support for our children, and he talks about doing social autopsies. And we all laugh at the name because, you know, autopsies are something that you usually do after somebody's dead, and we're not suggesting that that's the right thing. But what we are suggesting is that we analyze social situations, what went well, who did what, Why did they do that? And how did this happen? So how could we act differently, and what outcomes might a different, you know, action have? Now the other thing with this, it's not just important to analyze, like, poor situations. It's actually important to analyze things that go well. Because when we look at good outcomes for social situations.

And why did that go well? Who did what? What did you do that actually helped the situation? So you're not continually analyzing situations that aren't good. But the social skill skill training is just so important.

Because it's awareness, isn't it, Jenny? It's it's making them more aware It is. Of of actually what's going on, what the processes are.

Yeah. And I find that without I do still do specialist teaching lessons, and I can find that, actually, for some children, up to half an hour of my lessons will be on social, emotional, behavioral components. And I have parents contacting me and teachers emailing me with the content for our discussion, and we analyze them at that time. Yes. And it's important that we do those discussions when the children's emotions aren't heightened. Often when you're in the middle of a meltdown or something, that's not the time to do them. So having a structured time for dealing with social, emotional, behavioral between their events is the best.

Fight fight freeze is not when the brain is working or taking on new information.

Exactly. Oh, Darren. We seem to have lost your voice. We seem to have lost your phone. You, Darren.

Thank you. I muted myself so you couldn't hear me sneeze. Sorry. I I was just saying, as a parent, I've made that mistake, and you only make it once till you realize it's ineffective. Yes. But this is a a good segue. This is a lot to take in. So how do you think parents feel when you share your strategies, your tips, and honestly, your experience?

It kind of varies because it's sorry. Were you talking to me? Or Yes. Yes. Sorry. Yeah. Just I'll just button here to to that you all know that I do have ADHD, so that's all good. I've got lots to say. So does Jenny. So I think it depends on where they are in their journey as well. Because often, particularly at the beginning, it's so overwhelming, and there's so much going on, and it's it's such a life adjustment that it can take a little while before some of the things that we talk about actually make sense.

Particularly when we're talking about things like discipline because it's the stock standard, isn't it? Oh, if if you gave them more discipline and and, yeah, we're a bit more controlled, then they'd behave much better. Right. Okay. Good one. Yeah. Yeah. No. So so, you know, positive discipline, things like that. So not just doling out consequences, but actually looking at what's going on, what's behind the behavior, because behavior's at the end. We wanna look at what's causing it and then get to that. So it it can be a process, and that's why we try and give a wide variety of information that they can then later take away and process and look through and adapt to their own environment. So yeah. Sherry, your thoughts?

I was just gonna say, I'm sure, Tracy, you probably felt like I did. I felt this was a very lonely journey. Yes. Especially for me being a teacher and not actually having the the skills to do the job. And many parents come, and they feel alone. They often actually also feel judged. And we're they we're often asked to do general parenting courses. And general parenting courses are fabulous. They actually give people the basic strategies. But I've always said, you have to be an exceptional parent to parent a child with learning differences, whether it be ADHD or on the spectrum. And so the parents actually often feel when they go to these sessions, they can't relate to the parents that are there.

Yeah. And they they feel so then they actually feel more inadequate. They think And they get told, you you're not doing this right. Do the course again. Yep. Yep. So one of the things that we have done with our work is we have tailor made our courses for these parents. And you sort of see what outcomes compare and expect. I I would say one of the biggest ones is relief. Relief that some other people actually understand what's going on for them and have got some skills and strategies to help them and, you know, somebody that they can talk to. Yeah.

Yeah. It's a very special set of skills, isn't it? That we need to point a phrase. Yeah. That parenting outcomes. Yeah.

It it's it it is very lonely at the start. And you do think you're the only one that's going through this journey. And I think this advantage of both of your courses, part of the joy of them is just like, wow. That person's having the same experience as I have, and it is a special parent. Hey. We are chasing the clock. And as usual from the previous sessions, all the questions start to come in, but we do have to wind up. And I will do a plug for both of these lovely ladies. The courses are available through adhd.org. N z. So from what we can see is we've got a real broad range of people who have come from the education sector, parents, and others. So thank you for coming. We do need to wrap up.

But I'd like to ask you one final question starting with you, Tracy, is what's the one key point that you'd like our audience to take away with them?

Only one? I have to pick only one? Only one? Well well, I kind of feel like I've already said it, and that is to have compassion to for yourself and for your child because there is no such thing as perfect. We need to be realistic in our expectations and just step back. Yeah. You know, look at what's going on in our family. Try not to let what other people are saying and and, oh, you should be doing this and that. You know, let go of those should'ves. Just do what works for you. Find out as much information as you can. Absolutely.

Beautiful. Jenny?

Like you, you think which one? But one of the key things that I think it seems to me that COVID has given us an amazing opportunity to make change in education. Basically, it turned our education sector upside down. The children who've got learning difficulties and differences and ADHD have really struggled under over the last two and a half years. And I say, let's make this a really positive time with teachers, the system, and parents and community can really work together to bring change in education to better improve the outcomes so all learning ways can thrive at school.

Yep. Never waste a crisis. And ADHD New Zealand has certainly felt the brunt of many families during COVID as well. I can really attest to what you're saying there, Jenny. One thing I wanna add is ADHD and Z has been really excited to receive a grant to help create a toolbox for the education sector and teachers to work with children and their with ADHD. And if you do want to be involved in the focus groups, because the way we're gonna develop is we're gonna ask, what do you need? Our web's email address is info@adhd.org.nzed. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to get involved and help design something. But we do need to wrap it up, and you can hear more from Jenny and Tracy, as I've mentioned, through our website, adhd.org.nzed.

If you missed the videos at the start, I think they're gonna be played next. Also coming up, we're going to discuss with Sarah and Suzanne ADHD in New Zealand. And in many regards, there are some similarities with New Zealand's experience of ADHD from around the world, which is why I was so pleased to be involved with the Global ADHD Conference. But there are also some interesting differences, and it's a good chance to talk about some of the things we've done. We really appreciate you coming. If you've been up for since one a 1AM New Zealand time, congratulations. You've just passed the halfway mark. You only have ten hours or so to go. And ADHD New Zealand is halfway through our shift if you like, so hang around.

If you wanna donate, go to adhdglobal.com. I actually feel like I got that wrong. Sorry. Globaladhd.com, and you can donate. So thank you very much for coming, and have a great day, and stick around for the next session.